Monday, August 29, 2011

Have This Pizza Instead

Someone cute on the internet was saying he didn't know why people write novels anymore. I think he was saying something about money, but really, all he said was he didn't know why people write novels anymore. I put the money thing there. Writers are so cute.

Another person asked me when I was going to be published "for real," which is to say "in print." I don't know. Whenever I get around to it. In the meantime, I've been published online in some pretty stellar places. I was asked to write a book because I was published online in some pretty stellar places. I want a pizza instead of all this explaining.

I received a rejection this morning. I submit to this place three or four times a year. I love this magazine so much I'm a subscriber, which is saying a lot because I'm dirt poor. It's a magazine for weird, beautiful fiction. The stories I send are either too weird or not weird enough, depending. Always beautiful, though (if I may). The editor remembers me from submission to submission, and she always says the nicest stuff, but nowhere in that stuff is, "We'll take it."

One day.

Enough about writing. I made peach salsa yesterday. There's a good amount left. If you want peach salsa, come to my house and eat peach salsa. Bring beer.

I had a dream I was hanging out with this girl from college. We were eating nachos in my kitchen, and then my family came over en masse. Each member of my family asked this girl an inappropriate question, and after each question, this girl covered herself with a blanket. She became a mound of blankets with a face. My family sat on her and told me how much they liked her. What. I am so sorry about that dream, girl from college.

Some of you are tough-timing it. Let me know you're OK.


  1. oh come on now, tell us the journal. or just whisper it in my ear if you must.

    I'm going to answer your questions soon I'm just not over being touched that you asked them.

  2. You asked me questions, so I asked you questions. We'll keep asking questions and answering questions until we're both obese with knowledge.

    I'll whisper the name of the journal into your ear. It's a good journal. Maybe you'll like it and maybe you won't, but at least you'll know its name.


From the mouths of beasts.