Wednesday, July 27, 2011

Diamond Brain

The internet connection I've been "stealing" is unstealable for a couple weeks, but be not afeared, dudes. I may not have access to the internet, but the library does. I'm at the library right now, "borrowing" the internet and not looking anyone else in the eyes lest they start recommending "beach reading."

Otherly, I need to look for a job that's exactly like the job I had at the museum, or preferably, the same job I had at the museum. "Otherly" is not a word. "Job" is a word I keep hearing every time I talk to my father.

My job right now is making dinner every night and taking Josh wherever he needs to go. It's not a bad job. It's not really a job, though. I don't want to ruin the illusion for you, but cooking's not really that hard, especially for two or three people. That said, Josh can't cook.

I had this daydream about a giant snake with a diamond in its brain. I really let the giant snake have it using a stick and some magical powers. Then I dug into the giant snake's brain with the stick and got the diamond out. I sold the diamond on the black market and lived comfortably near the ocean where I wrote a successful series of books about my battle against the giant snake. The battle only lasted a few minutes, so I had to flesh it out a little for the books. I constructed an elaborate mythology and invented some characters who would later visit me in a vision on my deathbed.

I'm in a constant state of daydreaming. This is probably evidence of my inability to cope with reality. REALITY-SCHMEALITY? I'm a Taurus and change is one of those things I deal with by flailing the arms in my head. Imagine I'm a bird and all my feathers are little arms. Flap, flap, flail.

I will see you soon. But first, I must make it out of this library alive.

1 comment:

  1. I enjoyed this blog entry, especially the part about the snake books.


From the mouths of beasts.